Emo Philips

Birthday: 7 February 1956, Chicago, Illinois, USA

Birth Name: Phil Soltanec

Height: 188 cm

Emo Philips was born on February 7, 1956 in Chicago, Illinois, USA as Phil Soltanec. He is an actor and writer, known for UHF (1989), Emo Philips Live (1987) and The Aristocrats (2005). He has been ma ...Show More

My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, w Show more My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe. Hide

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second Show more At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. Hide

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said 'A truck!' ...and always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said 'A truck!'

Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was ar Show more Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18, I thought, 'I'll become a comedian, and then if everyone laughs at me, I'll be famous.' So I went on stage one night and, for the first time in my life, everyone stopped laughing at me. Hide

Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they ar Show more Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day. Hide

What is eternity? You're on the checkout line at a supermarket. There are seven people in front of y Show more What is eternity? You're on the checkout line at a supermarket. There are seven people in front of you. They are all old. They all have two carts and coupons for every item. They are all paying by check. None of them have ID. It's the checkout girl's first day on the job. She doesn't speak any English. Take away fifteen minutes from that, and you begin to get an idea of what eternity is. Hide

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your Show more I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, how are you going to get into the corners?" Hide

I'm a great lover... I bet I'm a great lover... I bet

Emo Philips's FILMOGRAPHY - Page 3

as Actor (58)